In Memory Of.....

• The lessons that life teaches us are great. Someone near us decided that it wasn't worth it anymore and took their own life. She was a teenager and we are profoundly affected by her decision. As I heard the news, it made me nauseaus. I cried and ran to the bathroom to get sick. We were back and forth as to what to tell our children....do we share with them the truth or do we try to be a vague as possible. We chose both. We started out by simply delaying telling them until we could think...then we decided to tell them that Kelly had died. We did not want to tell them the manner in which she went, just that we would all be attending the funeral together. Many questions came from it all...."Is she in heaven?", "Why did she die?", etc. All of the hard questions that are much easier to answer when you have the Bible to fall back on. The truth is we don't know anything other than what God chooses to reveal through His word. Daily readings of the word have been essential in my spiritual growth in order to achieve a greater more personal relationship with Him. I am more than ever convinced that I would really like to work with teenagers in some capacity. They have always scared me but now I am feeling like it is time to face my fears. I can't imagine a harder time in life than being a teenager. I have been there and it was difficult, confusing, and hormonal all at once. I am praying for God to open a door for an opportunity to present itself in this capacity. I know if it is His will, then it will become apparent. For now, I am just stepping back and praying for the families that have been forever changed and impacted. While at the funeral, I couldn't help but think that if Kelly had seen all the people there who loved her and supported her family, that she would have changed her mind and not gone through with it. It seems so light to say that she made a mistake. We all have made many mistakes, some that are with a penalty some without, or seemingly so. Her mistake was permanant. It can't be changed and it wasn't worth it. The profound sadness that is swelling within our circle of love is intense. As a person, I will never be the same. As a parent, I am forever changed.