Happy Birthday Sweet Girl

And just like that......poof. She is 16. Her qualities are rare......she is logical, calm, intuitive of the feelings of others, wise beyond her years, independent, opinionated, beautiful, funny, and half of my whole world. It is crazy to think that I could admire a person so much. A person who I grew in my body. A person who is still a child, but has always had a way about her that was different and unique. When I sent her to kindergarten, I would go up and watch her play at recess, behind a fence where she wouldn't notice me. I was scared to let her go, scared she missed me or was miserable. I wanted to homeschool her at that time, but had a very good friend who taught kindergarten, and I thought the experience of that would be good. It was, and I homeschooled the next year. But watching Olivia interact on the playground made me realize "she has this all figured out, already!" She would start playing, not requiring anyone else to give up what they were doing, not afraid to do her own thing, and secure enough to not need the attention or permission of others. I watched her start marching across the playground just doing random things.....and within minutes she had every single boy in the class following her doing the same thing. The girls were jumping rope and sitting along the wall talking. The line of kids behind her grew to about 15 and she led the way just enjoying herself and enduring zero drama in the process. And that is an illustration of how she has lived these last 16 years. My girl is confident and focused on what is good. She doesn't get caught up in "boyfriends" but she has many who have sought after her. She has many "boy friends" and they respect her immensely. And while her decision to not be in a relationship will not continue in perpetuity ( and I wouldn't want it to), I do know one thing. Whomever she decides is "the one" for her to have a closer than friendship relationship with, will be a person of great character and soulfulness. And I am already praying for him, whomever he is,  to be being raised in a way that he is solid and good. That God is blessing his childhood, and that he would be able to serve as a spiritual leader to my girl. I love you, Olivia. It is a privilege to be your mommy and your friend. May we have many years to learn from each other and to continue this wonderful journey. You are amazing.

A New Beginning

It has been several years since my last blog.....much has changed....and the 'plan' that I had envisioned was very different than God's plan. In short, our family unit separated by divorce. It was through the strength of my children that I found the courage to choose a different path. That being said, it wasn't easy. The dissolution of a marriage, especially one with many years of history, and with children, is a tragic experience. I do not recommend it to others if it is avoidable! That being said, my girls are absolutely all that I could hope for, and more. They are solid, grounded in their faith, and wise beyond their years. They are examples of letting others see God through them. I have been abundantly blessed and it is a privilege to be their mommy. I have "renamed" the blog. "lessons of sea glass". Why sea glass? Sea glass starts out as broken beer and wine bottles from littering in the sea. It is physically and chemically weathered over time, enduring many years of tumbling and persistent shaping.  And when these shards of glass are knocked into the rocks and sand and tumbled by the vast waves, they begin to smooth out over time, into its most valuable form and into something beautiful. After having been through the rough waters of the ocean for 30-50 years in many cases, the sea glass becomes beautiful and highly coveted. And this is similar to what God allows us to endure, in order that He can polish us and use us for His glory. So many years have passed, and so much has changed. New addresses, new experiences, new relationships and  new name (me). All of this shaping has changed, conformed and released me to a new life. I have evolved and grown and so have the girls. I didn't think that all of the lessons that came my way were valuable, mostly because they forced me to be uncomfortable. And like a wise man has often told me, "discomfort is a place from which you grow." And this is just so true. So as I begin to launch into the new era that we have found ourselves in,  I invite you back into our lives. Looking back, my life seems to have been in focus before. Laser focused on raising these girls to the best of my God given ability. And true to that focus, I have remained. And although the story didn't go the way I planned, He had a greater vision. And who am I to question that?